I love the holidays!! But the holidays are not that great on my nerves. I only have myself to blame though. I want (have) to make from this time till after Christmas, perfect. The house is decorated for Thanksgiving. The tart warmers are dispersing warm, cinnamon and harvest type smells all throughout the house. Plans are already being made on where we will be going for Thanksgiving and what I will make to take with us.
The calendar is filled from now till the day after Christmas with preparations, shopping, parties, etc. The day after Thanksgiving is booked for all day shopping; hoping to get most of my Christmas shopping done. I love being in the malls on that day. Everyone is happy and on a mission to get that special someone the gift that will make them smile. That weekend is set aside for further shopping, to take down the Thanksgiving decorations, and pull out the numerous crates of Christmas decorations. I LOVE decorating for Christmas. I usually put up 3 Christmas trees and decorations in any room in the house (excluding bedrooms). Each year I add more and more to my collection. This year, I am adding garland that I made last weekend. Last year I found a woodsy/berry/evergreen garland that I fell in love with. The problem: it was 75.00 per 6ft at this antique shop. Of Course I walked out without it, but returned a few days later and got the price down to 45.00. This still pained me but I loved it so much, I bought 2. The 2 lengths did not cover what I needed and I just couldn't pull out the wallet and get more, so I stared and stared and finally came to the conclusion THAT, 'I CAN MAKE THAT" I have been bitten by my mother's disease!! Off to Joann Fabric I went the day after Christmas and bought the supplies that I needed to duplicate my prized garland. I spent just about as much but was able to buy enough for many more lengths of garland. I never got around to making the garland this year until last weekend. I have to toot my own horn and say that I can't tell the difference between what I made and what I bought.
Anyway, the house will be filled with Christmas decorations and the tart warmers will now spread the scent of evergreen/pine and peppermint. I look forward to my decorating day(s). I turn on Christmas music, keep the TV off and enjoy the time of reflection and anticipation of what is to come.
As the weeks tick by and we get closer, my anxiety builds. I must get that perfect gift for my parents or Steve, the cookies must be baked, the presents must be wrapped and placed under the tree, we have to attend that party, etc. I love to experience as many activities as I possibly can to make my Christmas complete. But these experiences also make me lose sight of what my real focus should be: Christ, my family and giving to others joyfully.
Every year I promise myself that the next year I will not put myself (and Steve) through the anxiety of making everything perfect for Christmas. I am honest enough to say that this year will be like all the rest. I start out with great excitement and plans which will turn into anxiety and frustration in a few weeks. I am hoping that my running will decrease some of the pressure this year.
Today at work, I was thinking/looking at my calendar and seeing what all "has"to be done and when my parent's are coming into town. My heart began to race and my stomach started to ache. Deep breathes Kim. I wanted so badly to put on my running shoes, my headphones and get lost in my world during a run. After work, I did just that. It wasn't an eventful run, but relaxing. I didn't learn anything new but just enjoyed the world being blacked out from my sight. My anxiety subsided. I am hoping this is a trend for the 2009 holiday season.
No comments:
Post a Comment